After a nationwide search by the firm Hazard, Young, Attea & Associates, visits by the four finalists, and months of waiting and anticipation, the identity of Uni's new director has finally been revealed.

The senior class has always been amazing and awe-inspiring. Now, in an unexpected twist, the entire class turns down Ivy League and podunk college alike as they enroll full time at Danville Area Community College in order to stay united as a class and close to home.

We've always seen the similarities between Uni and Hogwarts. Here, author J.K. Rowling comes clean about the fact that Uni was indeed her inspiration. Also, we've dug up yearbook photos of Barry Lotter and Jon Freasley. Look inside for the reason Rowling is telling all after so many years of lies.

All of you enamored of the lounge, beware: This is your last week to luxuriate in the filth. Come Monday, the lounge will be closed … forever. So make the best of your last few days of loud music and curse words. Soon, we will have to resort to sitting in the hallways during free periods.

Seniors Sheri Grill and Daniel Borup get pretty close as Tony and Maria in "West Side Story," Uni's spring musical. However, Sheri's longtime boyfriend, fellow senior Russell Prochaska, is outraged at this turn of events and is planning a demonstration. Look inside for some exclusive commentary from Prochaska himself.

Due to budget cuts and the current economic climate, the girls and boys soccer teams will be combined into one coed team. The idea was proposed a few years ago by an anonymous Uni parent, but was immediately dismissed. In light of recent economic troubles, however, the athletic department has deemed the change necessary.