You don't have to visit a haunted house or rent "Night of the Living Dead" to get a good scare. There are plenty of frightening things right here at Uni, and Lor Sligar and Lizzy Warner are ready to give you a tour — if you dare!

Lost and Found
Some of the scariest stuff is lingering in the lost and found. Most items either have a reason for being lost, or have been lost for so long that they've begun to grow mold, making them easily mistaken as baby monsters. Plus, who knows what the lunch boxes with flies buzzing around them and the crusty PE T-shirts are harboring?

Subbie Stampedes
The bell rings. You walk out of class. And suddenly … a stampede! Beware of the subbies and their rolling backpacks, because in their pursuit of getting to class three minutes before the bell, they'll do anything from walk up the wrong side of the stairwell (causing you to swerve to avoid them, and then crashing into walkers in the opposite lane, potentially falling) to roll their backpacks over your feet (causing you to contemplate getting an x-ray).

Administration
They prowl the hallways and we never know when they'll attack! You think you're safe sending a quick message on your phone and suddenly your brand new Blitz has been seized and you're being dragged to the dreaded main office. It could be anything. You have to be watching your back at all times. Don't even think about pelvis thrusting at the Halloween dance or driving on sidewalks (sidewalk is not road) to avoid the traffic … you will be hunted down (and most likely caught).

Lounge
Nothing reminds you more of a death trap than what lingers under the sofas in the lounge. Slimy food, moldy crust, and something that's sticking to the bottom of your foot constantly linger. The lounge harbors so many unknowns. You could easily collapse from dust inhalation, and lie unconscious on the floor until the ants come out after closing time, thinking you're a pile of typical food remnants, and begin to swarm over your stomach. Gross. In addition, the couches have a bad habit of eating homework and personal belongings. Watch out.

Kitchen Sink
Maybe that should remained closed. After the accumulation of grease and burnt piles of squishy eggs from the people who like to cook in the morning, the dishes only continue to pile up throughout the day, leaving an increasingly strong smell of spoiled milk. Plus, no one even knows what's hiding in the back of the refrigerators. Supposedly it's food, but we're all too afraid to find out.

Boys Bathroom
We don't know exactly what goes on in this chamber of mysteries, but what we do know is that it's constantly filled with foul smells and weird sounds. Besides, since it doesn't have a couch, it's best left alone.

Radiators
So you think that it's terribly cold outside … that is, before you accidentally back into one of the radiators. They can leave burn marks if you touch them, and they leave your classrooms feeling like saunas; unfortunately, because you're required to stay in class (or face the wrath of the aforementioned administration) you're essentially trapped in the heat! Sometimes they hide in places like behind couches in the lounge and on the wall opposite the vending machines; when you think you're going to take a step back to ponder your Coke options, think again.

Entrances
Right when you think you're going out on campus with your friends, you notice the main door is closed off for construction. So, you make your way to the south entrance … but then that's closed for "construction" too. One day all the doors will be closed off and we'll be trapped outside, unable to attend class. Oh wait … that's a good thing.

Calculus
Calculus causes you to lose all connections with the world around you. Expect to feel as though you're going insane as you sit at home for hours trying to solve the first of 40 million problems. What could be worse than isolation and insanity?

Asbestos
It's supposedly all gone, but who really knows? We mean, we should be prepared at all times … and not crack any tiles (just in case). And that new hole in the wall of the lounge? Expect giant asbestos-infected rat zombies to mysteriously appear around school soon.

Mono!!
The recent "epidemic" has all of us shaking in our boots. Everyone is second-guessing colds and Uni's most famous pastime is fading from use: food mooching.