Over the summer in China, I bought a pack of Pokémon cards for 8 U.S. cents. Those cards brought me back to grade school, when I watched eight full-length feature Pokémon movies.

I received a promotional Pokémon card for watching the first four movies in theaters. The promo cards and the catchy theme song always hooked me in. Which card collector wouldn't want a holographic Celebi or Electabuzz?

Since then, the Pokémon movies have been released exclusively on DVD and VHS. And for good reason.

While "Pokémon: The First Movie" induced sentiments, "Pokémon: Jirachi Wish Maker" (the sixth movie) induced me to sleep.

Pokémon is dying out, despite drastically outlasting Digimon or Yu-Gi-Oh!

Nothing epitomizes the series' demise better than Google-searching "Pikachu death," which generates 199,000 results. Google-searching "Pikachu lives" only generates 80,100 results.

The preponderance of people searching for Pikachu's death harbingers the demise of the Pokémon franchise. In order to stay alive, the Pokémon franchise must create surprises other than new Pokémon. After all, how many more Pokémon will anyone care to memorize after 493? I didn't bother memorizing new Pokémon after the second generation (251 Pokémon) came out in 2000.

To make matters worse, the Pokémon TV show is dead. Though I reluctantly watched the first generation of Pokémon describing Ash Ketchum's quest to receive the 16 badges of the Kanto and Johto regions, the third generation (Hoenn) bored me to tears.

Besides wanting to pursue more tangible goals, I haven't watched Pokémon since fifth grade for other reasons. It's gotten to the point where I would rather memorize calculus proofs than memorize new Pokémon. That's saying a lot.

Not only do the new Pokémon look more and more idiosyncratic, as if they were dragged from "Sesame Street," but they also have weirder attacks and special abilities (seriously, "chatter"?).

Crispier graphics have revolutionized Pokémon games, but to the extent that they've lost their originality and simplicity. I've only beaten Pokémon Gold version for the Game Boy Color.

Those in charge of the Pokémon franchise cater more and more to young children. And their efforts show. The producers have tried to spice up all succeeding generations for younger audiences.

Misty, a protagonist, has been replaced by a younger-looking May, a 10-year-old, for the sixth season of the show. Climactically, the directors conspicuously added Max in the sixth season, an obtrusive 7-year-old know-it-all.

To attract younger and younger audiences, as the older audiences break from Pokémon, the producers make Ash and the other main characters set out anew after every season. I want to watch a protagonist actually gain something instead of watching the same plot over and over again. The new generations depict Ash as a newbie — despite defeating Lance (one of Kanto region's best Pokemon trainers and champion of the Elite Four) and winning numerous badges.

I'm annoyed that Ash moves backwards in time instead of forwards. First generation fans, i.e. me, have suffered through the first two seasons expecting grandiose milestones, but the series culminated in defeat after defeat.

We deserve to watch Ash as he'd realistically be after 617 episodes and 11 feature films — taking over Team Rocket and suffering pubertal mood swings.

I understand that the law of supply and demand makes "South Park"-izing Pokemon impossible from a commercial perspective. But during my most recent Pokémon card battle (four years ago), I lost for the first time. My first-generation deck battled a friend's third-generation deck — with jacked-up stats.

The card makers spiced up the game with almost unholy attack power and hit points, rendering my strategy obsolete. As the Pokémon franchise tries desperately to stay afloat, I wonder what they'll try next — making Pokemon 4-D? Or revealing the long-debated identity of Ash's father?