If your idea of helping with household chores is lifting your feet onto the couch when the vacuum cleaner comes around, then you are one of many (including yours truly).

There was a time when most kids had chores (slave time) followed by a time when most kids had chores but got paid for it (employee time). Now kids get paid simply for living with their parents. Fat allowances with no strings attached (entitlement time).

A recent study found that since 1981 there has been a 25 percent drop in the time kids spend on household chores. We are warned that these behavioral shifts will affect our lives because the decline in time spent on chores correlates with a decline in volunteerism and empathy. Not a good prognosis for community life.

This “laziness” and resulting “cluelessness” may even have implications for our romantic lives.

Pitching in at home has become a crucial marriage-preservation skill — especially for men. And I say men because girls still do more chores than boys! Not only that — boys actually get paid more when they do bother to do chores!

That is because of the way chores are assigned. Girls do daily work like dishes and laundry that are considered free jobs. Boys get the nonroutine chores, like lawn mowing, which are regarded as paid jobs. So, not only are men out of habit more lazy and clueless, women have (with reason) an arsenal of resentment built up.

The last time I had a set list of chores was probably early elementary school. I had a chore chart on the fridge and followed the accumulation of “good job” gold-star stickers with pride. I have since outgrown my chore chart but I am no less busy.

It’s not chores that load me down these days. I have very few chores, and the ones that I do have are done mostly on an ad hoc basis — like shoveling when there is an overwhelming amount of snow. I would do more if required but some down time is important for sanity.

Even our parents do fewer chores. They hire people to take care of the mundane housecleaning and yardwork tasks. Why? So that they have more time to volunteer at those interminable track or swim meets. So is volunteerism in decline? I don’t think so.

Many tasks that are thought of as chores are actually only cases of “being held accountable” for one's own messes. Clearing away your trash is not a chore, it’s common decency. It’s not OK to leave towels on the floor, or to trash your room and not clean it up. I have yet to achieve perfection in this regard, but I do make an effort.

That is why I admire kids who take care of their own laundry. At least you won’t make a fool of yourself when you promptly begin to ruin your clothes during your first laundry run at college.

I am often in charge of family meals. But that is because I want to be — not because it is my “turn.”
Chores teach us responsibility and self-sufficiency. Taking care of them reflects the kind of adults we will grow up to be. So next time it’s time for the vacuuming, don’t just plug your ears!