I love theatre, yes I do, I love theatre, how 'bout you?
Published: Sunday, December 2, 2007 - 5:43pm
So I have been on theatre (yes, it is spelled that way!) overdrive for the past 3 months.
Now don't get me wrong, I love theatre. Directing my own play has been especially amazing. But being in plays really forces you to spend a lot of time with the same people, and you end up learning a lot of things. I decided to spend this blog entry imparting some theatre wisdom on all of you.
1) Doing theatre for three months straight, you learn that there are people you just can no longer stand for any length of time. Some people just turn into big ugly monsters who threaten to eat you if you take up a little of their mirror space or something. Theatre really brings out both the best and the worst in people. You see the types of situations they can and cannot handle, and you find out who your true friends are.
2) Unfortunately, jealousy is a huge part of the theatre business. Someone else will get more laughs than you. Someone else will have a "better" part than you. Someone else will get cast, and you won't. It really makes a lot of people say really hurtful things, just because they're jealous. This also brings out another side of a lot of people and makes you see them in a whole different light.
3) All steps should have glow-in-the-dark tape on them. This should just be a universal rule that should never ever be broken, with violators being punished by death. Also, you should never wear slippery, furry boots and try to walk down the invisible steps in them. Bad things happen.
4) Have someone else order Jimmy John's for you, because you will screw it up, somehow.
5) Sometimes, the audience is more fun to watch than the actual play (especially if you not only wrote the play, but you've seen it about a million times). Friday night's audience just laughed or kinda chuckled. Saturday's audience was hilarious, because the best audiences aren't the ones who just laugh or sit there quietly. I love the gasps, the oooooohs, the awwwws, the whispered "Hey, there was a Brunhilda in the last two plays, too!" The audience was making me laugh more than the play was (especially when I noticed a certain person or two who think that I am not funny at all being unable to control their laughter). Needless to say, it's very ego-boosting.
(However, if you are on stage, DO NOT LOOK INTO THE AUDIENCE!!!)
6) When a theatre project is over, you will get the magical alien theatre flu-bug. That's just how it goes. It's like a rule or something. You will get sick, and so will everyone else. StudProd ended less than 24 hours ago, and I am already feeling totally awful. A couple people have been throwing up. It's just inevitable.
7) No matter how many times you proof-read the program that you spent forever making, there will be a mistake. There's no avoiding it. It's just not possible to have a perfect program.
8) Raspberry lemonade is very sticky, and all the cups will disappear, along with all the cookies.
9) Cast parties are the most fun you will ever have, even if you are still recovering from a fall down the stairs and you're in the process of getting sick. Because nothing can beat giant intense ping-pong games, creating Playmobile battles, playing Spoons with chopsticks and a whole bunch of people, fooling EVERYONE into thinking the lamp can be turned on and off by clapping, slightly inappropriate ping-pong paddle fights, and 6 people chasing a bunny around the room.
10) If you think the cast party sounds fun, wait 'til you're in the play. There really isn't anything that can beat that adrenaline rush, the excited nervousness, those bright lights blinding you (but making your complexion look incredible), that audience reactions, and the inevitable fact that someone will always mess up a line in a funny way.
"Peter doesn't like girls, especially not girls like our Anneke...."
I hope that I have made you really really want to do theatre now. It is exhausting and stressful, but it's so much fun, and hilarious, and just excellent all around.
Plus, you get to have TONS of inside jokes.
So what kind of toothpaste do you use?