ERIKA BELMONT
Gargoyle assistant editor
Posted Thursday, Jan. 29, 2009

Dear Mr. Blagojevich,

Simply put, I’m glad you got impeached. I’m glad you’re never going to be in charge of the state that I live in ever again.

And it’s not just because you committed impeachable offenses. It’s because of the stupidity that led you to commit those offenses — and then compare your situation to the Americans in the Pearl Harbor attack.

You should not have been surprised. You knew you were being watched, and yet you still used your own phone to place bribes. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

That you pleaded your innocence further proves your stupidity. Innocent governors do not get impeached with a Senate vote of 59-0.

Nor do they not produce any evidence in their defense and then say they had done “absolutely nothing wrong.” The list proving your stupidity could go on forever.

When you said, "There hasn't been a single piece of information that proves any wrongdoing," I almost laughed.

Ask around anywhere and you’ll discover that everyone can quote at least one thing from your phone calls.

We all know you supposedly needed money, and, to put it nicely, you didn't want to give up Barack Obama’s U.S. Senate seat for nothing. You have been the laughing stock of the nation for almost two months now, and it’s still just as funny as it was when the news first broke.

You have been my source of entertainment in my most bored moments. You have kept me awake and even smiling a bit in the most boring moments of my day. For that I give you a meek smile, and owe you a minuscule amount of gratitude.

But frankly, you are a disgrace to Illinois politics. And with other Illinois governors having served jail time, I applaud you, Mr. Blagojevich. What you have accomplished is quite a feat, given your predecessors. I wouldn’t have thought it possible.

So be gone. Get out of here. We are all tired of your antics, stupidity, and drama. Goodbye, Mr. Blagojevich.

Sincerely,
Erika Belmont

An earlier version of this column was published as an entry in the OG Staff Blog.