Too much 21st century

I'm experiencing one of those it-could-only-happen-in-the-21st-centuries evenings. My husband, my son, my son's girlfriend and I are sharing an AIM chat while the three of them watch the season finale of 24. Daniel and Kathy are in Chicago, Mitch is upstairs, and I'm downstairs. Mind you, I'm not watching the show and haven't, except for the odd episode or two. I figure Grey's Anatomy is enough to keep up with. So I'm observing this conversation scroll by and, let me tell you, it doesn't make much sense. Found poetry, that's what it is. Here are some snippets.

revenge of the bald guys.
jack bauer, army of one
army + spy + counter-terrorist + diplomat (not) all in one
he was fired earlier today!
is morris her one-night stand?
he's already found a retail job!
well if he can fix the recording in his sleep, why doesn't he?
is she going to start undressing?
that is a good tactic
oh, too good. now she is stuck with him
she's totally repulsed
he's slime personified
he needs a quarter for the copy machine
she had to go to the necessary room
isn't it a crime to assault a navy pilot?
the pilot doesn't buy it
he looks suspicious
jack has his dark visor down. that seems a bit odd, i think
ha! look at those eyes
the electricity on in the warehouse?
logan is caving already
10 minutes is like a month to jack

And finally, from the cat:
tgyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyhtggggggggggggggggggg