Uni High Gargoyle Staff Blog

This morning, my stereo hummed into life to end prematurely my sleepy reverie and mark the beginning of another fun-filled school day. However, as I was stumbling across my room to turn off the alarm, a couple of things caught my eye.

One was the fact that outside, where I usually see a brick-paved street divided down the middle by a wide strip of grass, there was a featureless, empty, white expanse. Additionally, a thick cloud of snow was pummeling my windows.

The second thing I noticed was that the stereo clock read “9:55” instead of something in the neighborhood of 7:00. Even in my sleepy, molasses-like brain, I was a bit alarmed that I had managed to sleep through PE and math and into history.

After some thoughtful consideration of the matters at hand, I recalled some prominent capitalized red text on the Uni web site: SCHOOL FOR TUESDAY HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO EXPECTED BAD WEATHER.

This thought rolled around in my brain a bit longer. No school on Tuesday. Today is … Tuesday. So … no school … today. Hmm.

Wait, what!?

The euphoria assosciated with a snow day is in a league by itself. I’m sure part of this is due to the sheer rarity of such days. I had one or two at Dr. Howard, and except for subbie year’s unexpected squirrel-related electrical failure, none since. Also, good things are so much better when they’re unexpected.

After doing a whole lot of nothing for a couple hours (to quote “Office Space,” “I did nothing, and it was everything I thought it would be”), I sat down and wrote up a list of my homework responsibilities. The first thing on the list was “review polynomials.” I looked down at my math book, then I looked lovingly at my new XBox 360.

Polynomials.

Video games.

End behavior, leading coefficients, and rational zeroes.

“Halo 2,” killing aliens, fighting my way through ancient gas mines to quell an insurgency.

Tough choice, huh? I shoved my list of homework into the math book, shoved the book into the darkest recesses of my backpack, and fired up the console. My backpack seemed to be staring at me reproachfully, so I relocated it to my closet with a few indulgent kicks.

At about 4 p.m., Uni called with an automated message: No school on Wednesday. So the lesson here, kids, is that playing video games instead of doing homework will never have any negative consequences. Remember that always.

— Andrew Lovdahl

P.S. The whole time I’ve been writing this, a Jimmy John’s delivery car has been stuck in knee-high snow across the street. It’s been quite a study in futility: First, a few guys with shovels were clearing out the snow by the wheels, then a big black truck drove up with a rope to pull it free. In the second “Office Space” connection of the day, the front bumper was yanked off. There’s no one standing over there anymore, so I guess the delivery guy just took off on foot to deliver some sandwiches to the smart-aleck who thought today would be a good day to order food delivered by car.

P.P.S. If you’re confused by the title of my entry, just think a little bit harder. I know you can get it.